我住紐約. 今日係母親節.
I live in New York, today is Mothers Day
( this sentence seem ok)
今, 我覺得我有兩個媽媽因為我住同外母。
What you tried to write: "Now, I feel like I have two mothers because I live with my mother-in-law."
「今」= 「now」, but it is a classical way of writing, doesn't seem fit in this body of text, better use Cantonese「而家- now」or Standard written Chinese (現在-now)
「住同 」: I suppose you meant: 「live with」，the correct way had been addressed by C.Chiu. It is 「同住」)
The corrected line: 「現在我覺得我( 好似-like)有兩個媽媽, 因為我同外母(一齊住- live with)。
我美國媽媽只講英文。我香港媽媽只講廣東話。
What you tried to write: "My American mom only speak English; my Hong Kong mother only speak Cantonese."
( Chinese not used to address mother-in-law as " mother" like American might, but this line in grammartically acceptable)
我覺得我有咁大吉。
What you tried to write: "I feel I am so luck"
( 大吉= good luck/ peace and safe, but mostly use in classical style or advertising slogan, not suitable here, better replace with 「幸運」( SWC for " lucky") or 「好彩」(Cantonese for " lucky")
Corrected line: " 我覺得我(好-very) 好彩"
我新香港家人時時要聽英文不過外母只要廣東話.
What you tried to write: "When I was new in Hong Kong, my family had to listen to my English all the time, but my mother- in- law only know Cantonese."
Corrected line: 我(初到-first arrived)香港(時- the time) 家人時時要聽( 我講- I spoke) 英文, 不過外母只( 識聽- could listen = understand) 廣東話.
她話過有時佢會聽得！
What you tried to write: "She had said sometime she would understand"
Corrected line: "她話有時佢會聽得明。" ( she said something she could understand)
好多人覺得我永遠老番不過外母信我可以吻合旺角。
What you tried to write: "many people think I would alway be a westerner, but my mother- in - law believes I can fit in here in Mong Kok."
「吻合 」= 「fit together 」better use 「適應」= 「get used to」
Corrected line: " 好多人覺得我永遠(係- is) 老番, 不過外母(就- on the other hand, 相信- believed) 我可以適應旺角。
我學咁多野因為外母信我可以明白又改進。
What you tried to write: " I studied so much because my mother-in-law believed I learn and improve,"
Corrected line: " 我學咁多野, 因為外母信我可以( 學得識- can learn) 而且(會-would) 進步。
我以為我有外母, 其實我叫佢媽媽.
What you tried to write: " I thought I just have an mother-in-law, but in face I could call her mom"
Corrected line: " 我以為( 佢祇係- she's only)我外母, 其實我( 可以-could)( 當佢係我- consider her as my) 媽媽.
佢真係好人又如果我地傾偈我無壓力。她係一個好老師真
What you tried to write: " she's really a kind person, I feel no pressure when we're talking, she really is a good teacher."
Corrected line: " 佢真係好人, 當我地傾偈嗰陣，我(唔會感到有- wouldn't feel there's any)壓力。她真係一個好老師
母親節快樂畀各母, 身體健康!
What you tried to write: " wish a happy Mothers Day to all mothers, and good health( to everyone)
Corrected line: " 祝各位母親，母親節快樂，身體健康!
Final edition:
我住紐約. 今日係母親節。 因為而家我同外母一齊住，我覺得我好似有兩個媽媽一樣。我嘅美國媽媽只會講英文。而我嘅香港媽媽就只識講廣東話。
我覺得我好好彩，我初到香港時，家人成日都要聽我講英文, 外母就只識聽廣東話。 不過佢話佢有時會聽得明我講乜。
好多人覺得我始終係老番, 不過外母就相信我可以適應旺角。 我學咁多野, 因為外母信我可以學得識廣東話，而且會進步。
我以為佢祇係我外母, 其實我可以當佢係我媽媽，佢真係好人, 當我地傾偈嗰陣，我唔會感到有壓力。她真係一個好老師
祝各位母親，母親節快樂，身體健康!
I live in New York, today is Mothers Day
( this sentence seem ok)
今, 我覺得我有兩個媽媽因為我住同外母。
What you tried to write: "Now, I feel like I have two mothers because I live with my mother-in-law."
「今」= 「now」, but it is a classical way of writing, doesn't seem fit in this body of text, better use Cantonese「而家- now」or Standard written Chinese (現在-now)
「住同 」: I suppose you meant: 「live with」，the correct way had been addressed by C.Chiu. It is 「同住」)
The corrected line: 「現在我覺得我( 好似-like)有兩個媽媽, 因為我同外母(一齊住- live with)。
我美國媽媽只講英文。我香港媽媽只講廣東話。
What you tried to write: "My American mom only speak English; my Hong Kong mother only speak Cantonese."
( Chinese not used to address mother-in-law as " mother" like American might, but this line in grammartically acceptable)
我覺得我有咁大吉。
What you tried to write: "I feel I am so luck"
( 大吉= good luck/ peace and safe, but mostly use in classical style or advertising slogan, not suitable here, better replace with 「幸運」( SWC for " lucky") or 「好彩」(Cantonese for " lucky")
Corrected line: " 我覺得我(好-very) 好彩"
我新香港家人時時要聽英文不過外母只要廣東話.
What you tried to write: "When I was new in Hong Kong, my family had to listen to my English all the time, but my mother- in- law only know Cantonese."
Corrected line: 我(初到-first arrived)香港(時- the time) 家人時時要聽( 我講- I spoke) 英文, 不過外母只( 識聽- could listen = understand) 廣東話.
她話過有時佢會聽得！
What you tried to write: "She had said sometime she would understand"
Corrected line: "她話有時佢會聽得明。" ( she said something she could understand)
好多人覺得我永遠老番不過外母信我可以吻合旺角。
What you tried to write: "many people think I would alway be a westerner, but my mother- in - law believes I can fit in here in Mong Kok."
「吻合 」= 「fit together 」better use 「適應」= 「get used to」
Corrected line: " 好多人覺得我永遠(係- is) 老番, 不過外母(就- on the other hand, 相信- believed) 我可以適應旺角。
我學咁多野因為外母信我可以明白又改進。
What you tried to write: " I studied so much because my mother-in-law believed I learn and improve,"
Corrected line: " 我學咁多野, 因為外母信我可以( 學得識- can learn) 而且(會-would) 進步。
我以為我有外母, 其實我叫佢媽媽.
What you tried to write: " I thought I just have an mother-in-law, but in face I could call her mom"
Corrected line: " 我以為( 佢祇係- she's only)我外母, 其實我( 可以-could)( 當佢係我- consider her as my) 媽媽.
佢真係好人又如果我地傾偈我無壓力。她係一個好老師真
What you tried to write: " she's really a kind person, I feel no pressure when we're talking, she really is a good teacher."
Corrected line: " 佢真係好人, 當我地傾偈嗰陣，我(唔會感到有- wouldn't feel there's any)壓力。她真係一個好老師
母親節快樂畀各母, 身體健康!
What you tried to write: " wish a happy Mothers Day to all mothers, and good health( to everyone)
Corrected line: " 祝各位母親，母親節快樂，身體健康!
Final edition:
我住紐約. 今日係母親節。 因為而家我同外母一齊住，我覺得我好似有兩個媽媽一樣。我嘅美國媽媽只會講英文。而我嘅香港媽媽就只識講廣東話。
我覺得我好好彩，我初到香港時，家人成日都要聽我講英文, 外母就只識聽廣東話。 不過佢話佢有時會聽得明我講乜。
好多人覺得我始終係老番, 不過外母就相信我可以適應旺角。 我學咁多野, 因為外母信我可以學得識廣東話，而且會進步。
我以為佢祇係我外母, 其實我可以當佢係我媽媽，佢真係好人, 當我地傾偈嗰陣，我唔會感到有壓力。她真係一個好老師
祝各位母親，母親節快樂，身體健康!